Bible Study

Flew back in town today and went straight into my weekly Bible study with the older girls.
Seriously didn't want to go because I was feeling tired and out of whack... but realized I couldn't go next week and decided to buck up and go.

It was good.
These things usually are.

But we talked about heaven a lot and I.. don't know. I'm not really a heaven-thinking type of girl, even though Christianity is supposed to be quite a bit about heaven.

I just figure... I'll know when I get there (hopefully with faith). No point in wondering if babies are in heaven or where the souls of dead people are waiting to be judged.

But it was interesting to remember having these questions.

Whatever. I have a crap ton of work left >.< and a cup of disgusting coffee that I'm forcing myself to drink. le sigh.

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The daily Bible verse:

Psalm 34:14
Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it

... 34:17-18 
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. 

I liked the 17 and 18, but put in the 14 to make myself remember that it's not just calling upon the Lord willy-nilly. I do have to be righteous and turn away from evil and do good. I do have to seek peace and pursue it. I don't know if I can call myself righteous, but I do believe the Lord hears when I pray. And knowing that God is near to the brokenhearted is really quite beautiful. Really beautiful.
I don't think I'm brokenhearted.. but I'm feeling really indecisive lately - which kinda stems from an indecisive heart, I think. I don't know if I am focused on my goals and priorities anymore... and it's really really frustrating.

A friend wrote a blogpost about joy even times of sorrow or anger or a negative emotion. And I think I need to dwell on that for a bit. Because I am feeling so awfully unhappy with the world and myself and people and everything, and where is the joy?

This is such an incoherent post. These paragraphs don't really connect to anything or to the verse. ... excuse me, I'm going to hopefully go to bed soon. Hopefully.

But meditating on the nearness of God. Oh that I can feel God near to me tonight...

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Have NOT forgotten about my Job thought. Will be back on that later. ... later this week, that is.