I feel so bad for ignoring this for a while. Again... lots of things happened.... and yet again, I hardly have the time to do this. Haha.
Talked with cell group about being open and vulnerable and the meaning of cell group and why.
Remembered the beauty of God's promises through song at church. You Hold Me Now, by Hillsong. Beautiful.
Received another of God's blessings in a sort of earthly fashion... ? And still trying to remember to put my heart in a state of proper thanksgiving and praise.
Lost a ton of motivation for final exams (tomorrow! ack!).
But this is for devotion, and here is my heart and mind for God today:
I read some Genesis again, but I don't think I want to think too deeply in these chapters right now. Save that for later.
Here is a verse that touched my heart:
2 Corinthians 3
4 Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. 5 Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, 6 who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.
This. Just this. As stated before, that song by Hillsong... just meditating on what it means to know that our sufficiency is from God. The things I burden myself with, the worries and struggles and the things I fill my time with.... God is more than sufficient for all these things. To meditate on his grace and through the outpouring of the Holy Spirit.
I can't say that I.... ugh how do I put this.... think too heavily, perhaps, about the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is rather something that I acknowledge as part of the Trinity and God and then... kinda say okay cool. And life goes on as I pray to Jesus, worship God's name.
Sometimes the things people say about the Holy Spirit sounds a little too.... iono... hokey. Like the experiences people profess as the Holy Spirit working could just be a crazy emotion, or an overly active imagination, or that you want it so badly you think it's true.
I believe in the Spirit's powers... but I don't think I believe that every time someone says it was the Spirit... it actually was. Or is it? Ugh, but God works in many different ways, so maybe? I'm confusing myself. Not the right night for that >.<
Regardless... I found myself in a welling of emotion from the song and the beauty and grace of God and just wah. Maybe it is the Holy Spirit reminding me what it means like to love love love
instead of this apathetic, complacent soul.
I don't know.
But our sufficiency is from God and God alone. That is what I remind myself of now.
Amen.
