OT

Been reading through the OT still. This brings up so many questions, honestly. I can't read through a text without having the voice in the back of my mind mutter and analyze and ask why why why?
Why does God say those words after the tower of Babel was built?
Why was a wife for Isaac found so easily? (faith - that was the conclusion my discipler and I came up with)
Why destruction?
Why allow Ishmael to raise up a group of people who are mostly going to be doomed?
Why do sons have to reap the sorrows and the sins of the father?

Also thinking about what it means to have a childlike faith.
What does that mean, truly? People who use that phrase, what does it mean?
Is it the ignorance of a child? The naivety? The wonder and excitement? The trust in the unknown? The gullibility?

Thinking about doubts. It just bothers me so much that Thomas is called Thomas the Doubter because he has to touch Jesus' wounds before he believes.
I copy the transcript here from John 20:

²⁴ Now Thomas (also known as Didymus^[a]), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. ²⁵ So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”
But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”
²⁶ A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” ²⁷ Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”
²⁸ Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”
²⁹ Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
 Doesn't that sound like us so often? Unless I see, I will not believe. I suppose it also means that Jesus will accommodate even our unbelief and reach out to us and let us touch his wounds until we believe. It's just lines like that last line and that the world (Christian world even) has labeled him "Thomas the Doubter"... that bothers me.
It's as if it's.. hm looked down upon to have doubts. That it is more blessed to have not seen and yet believe. For me, that scares me so completely because the thing I fear is a blind faith.
I don't want to follow blindly my parents' faith or blindly follow my church's teachings.
I don't want to be a sheep that follows another sheep off the cliff without realizing.

It bothers me. But I am glad that I am rereading these passages that I thought I knew so well from Sunday School. Because before today I had not had these two thoughts:
1. That it was not the Bible that labeled Thomas as Thomas the Doubter, but rather the world. It reminds me so often that I do not know God as closely as I thought I did - and how beautiful it is to get to know him more!
2. That Jesus will accommodate our unbelief. He does not leave Thomas doubting, but says "Stop doubting and believe." Isn't that beautiful? That God isn't a passive God that is just there, but rather one that runs after us! He loves us so dearly.