A continuation

This is actually not going to be from my devos, but from Sunday School.
So I went to the Joshua class, which is focusing on the book of Joshua (trying to understand the circumstances and the events and then understand what we can take away from it).

And I come out of the class a little more frustrated and a little more understanding at the end.

Frustrating because I realize now why I have so many misconceptions about stories in the Bible that I've heard from my younger years (Vacation Bible School, bible story time, etc). It's because classes that focuses on text encourage questions and then allows the class to speculate about the answer. For example, in Joshua we focused on ch 1 and 2. Chapter 2 mostly starred Rahab, the prostitute that let the two spies escape by a red cord from Jericho.

And then the teacher opened up the floor to questions - to which people asked stuff like:
What's the number of people in Jericho?
Is Rahab a prostitute or an inn keeper?
Why did the spies go to a prostitute? (joke answer from the class: that's where men go)
How can Rahab be so blessed by God when she was a traitor and she lied?
How did the king know Rahab personally?

etc.

And then the class also tried to answer those questions, which begot many many speculations and various theories.

THIS. This is where I felt a little frustrated and a little understanding at the same time. Frustrated because I feel as if my memory fogs up these moments of speculation and somehow inadvertently takes a few of these answers as truth (and then my mind assumes it was in the Bible when they were just good guess and theories and speculation). Just like when I assumed the Bible called Thomas specifically "Thomas the Doubter" rather than Jesus telling him not to doubt.
But understanding because pondering and truly seeking for answers to our questions is the only way we can grow closer to God. It's not just enough to read the text, but to meditate upon it and write it on our hearts.

See? What a frustrating annoyance. I guess I'll just be more mindful of what people say about the text (commentary) versus what's in the Bible and remind myself to distinguish the two better.

A verse to leave you with:
Hebrews 11: 1-2
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. ² This is what the ancients were commended for.

You ought to read all of Hebrews 11. I think I'm just blown away by Hebrews 11 right now because it shows just how cohesive the Bible is.
Questions that I ask from the Old Testament become more clear after reading this chapter.

And the overall theme here is faith.

-edit-
/failflop
ah note to self: no more talking to the reader unless it's directly aimed at myself. Despite the "selfish" sounding nature of that statement, this is my blog so it is what it is.
Also, thinking about a potential audience makes this blog a little less real, I think. It makes me consider the regards of others too much as I write about struggles. It makes me want to hide my questions and only reveal my revelations and understanding. I suppose thinking on my other blog and reading others in my friend circle, I notice that trend a lot where people keep posting glorious moments of feeling close to God and lovely epiphanies that God revealed to them and little God hunts and moments where their lives are intersecting with God's will and plan. And then I start to ponder my blog posts where I write out questions and struggles and difficult times and I have the furious urge to go back and delete delete delete and not let anyone see it. But this is a blog to devote everything to God, both confusion and utter despair along with the joy and encouragement of God speaking through His words.