I don't understand

I don't understand so many things in the Bible. I also realize that I can so easily take things at face value and think I know it, but when I stop and ask what it means, I really can't answer it.

I'm heading back to Romans because I was really sad that I didn't know a verse my pastor referenced last Saturday. I'll go back to Genesis when I feel a little more grounded again. I think I can only take OT in small periods of time because then I start wandering off and forgetting the importance of the Word. OT is just so darn hard to relate to and make it into something that I understand fully of why it's in the Bible besides a history of some sorts. So back to Romans.

I guess also just in the personal corner as well... I've been really really depriving my body of sleep because I keep trying to use that time to recoup (as an introvert, lol) from the day. It's horrid and unhealthy and I'm constantly tired. But even more than that, this week has just been really hard because I couldn't make up for my sleep debt on the weekends because of other programs and commitments. I've been finding myself grumpy and frustrated at closest friends and family, annoyed at people's requests and people nattering at me. I can feel myself in that moments of suspended air where I'm just about to tumble into introvert land where I can't deal with people anymore and all I want to do is eat alone, study alone, be alone.

But another things is also this: this daily devotion thing. I've been slacking. Ughhh how many times do I come here to write that? The later I sleep, the less likely I would write here, the less likely I'm going to seriously sit down and read my Bible. The less likely I am to seriously pray. And I think that contributes a lot for why I don't want to meet up with people recently too. Because I have nothing of God in my heart recently, only tiredness frustration and self me myself in my heart.

But yes, back to the actual devotion part.
Romans. I'm trying to memorize Romans 6 even though I'm currently loving Romans 8 right now, but it's a progression. I'll get there eventually. It went la di la da da for a while, but there's something about memorizing that forces me to just truly think and know the words that I memorize, otherwise I'd forget. And there's this phrase in the first paragraph that I just have to stop on.
We died to sin. Romans 6:2
I've read and heard this verse multiple times, many times in my life. But what does it actually mean? How can one die to something? Is it like the phrase, he died to tuberculosis. ?
He died to an illness, she died to cancer.
We died to sin. We died because of sin. We died because sin was living in us and that is why we died.
Ah, it makes sense now. But the next part of it: "so how can we live in it any longer?"
One cannot live in a disease, can they? She lived in cancer. No, doesn't make sense.
Live in it? Is it like living in filth. He lived in squalor. She lived in filth and dirt. Like so?
So we died to sin, like a person might to a disease, so thus how can we live in sin, as a person might live in filth, any longer?
Is this how I should interpret this verse? Yes, for now. And thinking this through, hopefully it will be written on my heart. That I can fully understand that I have died to sin, I am a sinful person, but after being saved by Christ and the redemption from his blood, how can I live in sin, how could I even imagine continue to sin any longer?

Verses 3 and 4 point this out very poignantly I think.
³ Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? ⁴ We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

So that we too may live a new life. 

let me live a new life, let me remember to live a new life instead of wallowing in my filth and sin day by day. Let me remember that Christ overcame death, and through him, I have a new life. 






 
Memorize 1-4 for today. Tomorrow, I will blog. I won't put it off. Let my yes be a yes.
In Christ,
Amen